Rooftops
by dragonfly-rising
Summary: So this has turned into a series of moments between Hiei and Shizuru cause the pairing and moments won't leave me alone. Please review.
1. Rooftops

I do not own YYH...sad but true

Just 2 Dream of You inspired this little venture, so thank you for giving me a little courage to "attempt a Hiei fic"

This is my first attempt at writing Hiei so please be nice with the flames.

* * *

He kept still as she stepped out onto the roof of the building. The others had no idea he had decided to watch over them through the night. They were fools for not paying attention at all times but he was use to that. Where he would have been more vigilant they were lax.

She stepped up to the side of the building near where he was leaning against a convenient meeting of the roof entrance and the wall that lined the roof itself. Without speaking to him she quietly tapped out a cigarette from the pack in her hand, lit it, then put both lighter and pack back into her pocket.

He knew who she was, the sister to that lumbering idiot Kuwabara. Shizuru.

She took a long drag off her cigarette then blew it out before turning to face him. She was not unpleasant to look at for a human. He doubted there were many who could find the twist of dark humor to her lips attractive though he could appreciate any mind that could find humor in the situations they had seen of late.

The silence between them lengthened, remaining comfortable since neither of them seemed inclined to speak. That may be one of the habits he found most irritating in some humans. That irrational need to fill silence with inane banter when truly nothing needed to be said.

He watched her eyes narrow in consideration as she studied him. He studied her in return. There was nothing about her that triggered his normal cautious nature. He could not even find it in himself to resent her open perusal of his face as if she had been given an invitation to do so. He could have thought that it was because she represented no threat to him but he was not given to needing excuses.

He watched her watching him, both of them caught up in the act of simply looking at another being.

The air began to breathe between them, to fill with electric expectation.

He found himself leaning forward slightly, his own eyes narrowing in consideration. There was something in the way she stood there, unafraid and even slightly amused as she watched him that was beginning to feel like some type of challenge. A type of challenge that he was not use to being given.

That challenge sparked in her eyes, drew her lips into that smile that garnered his attention even more so now that he was actually engaged in this odd game she had begun.

The space between them grew thicker, warming his skin in a strange manner. He did not become alarmed by this development, understanding instantly that it was because of their natures that the air reacted in that manner. He was no fool. He was aware Shizuru held the same capabilities as her brother, her spiritual awareness could actually be seen if one was gifted with the right tools.

Shizuru took another drag from her cigarette, the smoke wafting around her in a grey chain before disappearing into the night.

"You know you aren't half bad for a short guy." she said finally.

His brow furrowed, "I suppose that means something."

Shizuru chuckled, flicking her ash over the side of the building, "It means what I said. You're cute for a short guy."

He blinked, unsure how to respond if at all to a comment as straight forward as that. Shizuru turned to lean on her elbows by his outstretched foot. The confidence expressed in that simple gesture should have unnerved him but again he found himself unconcerned.

"I don't usually do this sort of thing." Shizuru went on after a long pause, "I could really care less that you're up here. I know you don't want them to know you're keeping an eye on them so I won't say anything."

"If you don't care why bother coming up at all?" he asked interested despite his usual lack thereof.

She shrugged, "Sometimes I just get this feeling I should be somewhere. Before I know what's going on I'm already headed in that direction. I'm not big on turning around and looking back to see where I've been. I have a feeling you might still be doing that."

He sat up straighter, "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" she asked with a knowing twist to her lips.

It was her lips that drew the majority of his attention. They were just as expressive as her voice, adding force to her words with their constant state of change.

She pushed herself up, took one last drag from her cigarette before flicking it out over the side of the building. He watched the dim glow until it vanished into the shadows below before bringing his eyes back up.

She tipped her head back, momentarily shutting her eyes as she breathed in the night air. It was a curiously unguarded moment for the young woman, he knew that from having observed her before. While she was the more vocal of the women that circled around the spirit detective there were very few moments that he had seen her relax in such a way.

"You wondering why I'm not afraid of you?"

"You should be."

The smirk climbed to her lips again as she turned her attention back to him, "You could kill me...and?"

"That isn't enough?"

"Breathing could kill me," she returned moving from by his foot to his side, "why should I be scared of someone that could do the same thing as air?"

"It would be more painful my way." he answered thinking she was teasing him.

"No...I don't think it would be." she disagreed, "You don't do anything halfway. You would make it quick."

Was she actually complimenting him on his preferred method of execution?

"You're strange for a human."

She chuckled again, the sound making the corners of his mouth twitch in response. This was without a doubt the oddest conversation he had been involved in with any one human.

She shifted again, closer this time before leaning down. He was sure her intent had been to place her lips on his cheek but that was not what happened. For no reason he could fathom he turned his face at the last second allowing those expressive lips to touch his own.

It was impulsive and for a heartbeat thought disappeared from his mind, clearing away all the warring turbulence that tended to circle in constant agitation. Warmth no longer filled the air. Instead it infused him, bringing with it a wave of electric thrill.

Then the moment passed, she pulled away. Her eyes filled with that sparking challenge and amusement. They considered each other for another lengthy silence.

"Wouldn't that just piss little bro off." she murmured, her tone huskier then before.

He could not help the darkly amused smile that came to his own lips to mirror the one on her's.

Without another word Shizuru left the roof, leaving him with the vaguest impression that she had gotten what she wanted from him.

He sat back, the smile still on his lips.


	2. Parkbenches

He was waiting.

It was a familiar sensation, a constant companion that he could not recall a time without. It seemed in one way or another he was either anticipating some action or in a state of alert that drew his gaze into some distant point beyond the horizon.

And because he was in this constant state of ready his body did not allow for moments of complete relaxation. It was simply not in his nature to be still though many around him would have said otherwise. They were unaware of the small tensions in his body, the quick flicker of his attention to things outside of what was directly infront of him. He had cultivated that false impression, used it against his enemies in one form or another.

He found the concept of relaxation as the others would have understood it contemptible to some degree. It was a waste of time to turn one's attention so fully inward. It left one vulnerable to attack, lulled the senses into a false state of security when there was no such thing.

It was not a strain on him to be this way. It was a fact of who he was, how he had always been from the beginning of his memories.

The wind changed direction. He closed his eyes breathing the new mixture of scents in, unconsciously seizing on the faint traces of a place he had not been in what seemed like forever. Emotions stirred with the return of those smells, longings he allowed to wash over him momentarily.

He opened his eyes at the sound of someone arriving behind him, the soft tread of footsteps he had first heard a few minutes ago stopping. He tilted his head to view the arrival with moderate interest. Of all the people to have sought him out this was not one he would have thought would do so.

The bluff he had chosen was a semi popular place for humans to visit. As such there was a bench placed well away from the edge where visitors could rest and enjoy the view. At this time of day there were no such interruptions so he frequented the spot when it was empty.

The new arrival did not bother with pleasantries, taking a seat on the bench before lighting the cigarette carefully held between her fingers. With the slight breeze the smoke disappeared almost immediately. Her unusual attention centered on him, that twist though was missing from her mouth and he briefly wondered what could cause such a thing.

On impulse he moved, settling into a crouch on the bench beside her. He was never fully comfortable in a sitting position, his preference being to perch in some form that gave him an advantage in movement if he so needed.

She did not react to what had to have been a startling arrival, but with her there seemed to be no real way of gauging her actions. She was no fighter. There was little telegraph in her body for the choices she would make. He had observed that on the rooftop and found it more interesting then he wanted to admit.

As had happened then the silence between them was comfortable, though warmth almost immediately added itself to the space as well.

"Gotta tell you I'm not a real fan of nature." she said casually, "I can hike with the best of them but that was not how I planned spending my lunch break."

"I don't recall inviting you." he replied smirking.

"Huh...good point." she agreed with him.

A quick glance out of the corner of his eye bore witness to the return of that dark humored twist. For some reason he found himself warmed by its return and that he had caused it. He returned his attention to the distance, unnerved by his reaction only because it was a human that had caused it. One that had nothing really to do with him except for the fact that she seemed compelled to seek out his company for whatever reasons she had.

"There's something dark coming." she murmured softly.

Now he turned his face toward her, studying how her face had relaxed as she gazed out into the view from the bluff. He could almost feel her psychic awareness flare around them, causing the hair on the back of his neck to raise as it ghosted over him.

"There is something dark already here." he said, drawing her instant and unreadable scrutiny.

Her dark brown eyes bore into his. He knew she would not ask for details, not that he had many to give her. For some reason he had the distinct impression that she was not just talking of the immediate darkness but something beyond that. Shizuru had a propensity to be vague with some of her psychic impressions. That he knew that about her was nothing more then continued observation. Anyone that circled the spirit detective he had a tendency to spend at least a small amount of time studying.

After a few more heartbeats her gaze eased but did not break away. She sat back drawing one last drag from her cigarette before flicking it off to the side nonchalantly.

He had to wonder what it was that caused the two of them to study each other for the lengths of time they did so. To be so completely comfortable under such regard would be unusual but for them it seemed a manner of communicating without use of words.

His eyes were still drawn to that tilt in her lips. Her eyes held that sparking challenge of before that he could not seem to resist.

He was mildly surprised when she shifted then brought a hand up. He stilled as her fingers brushed his cheek lightly, the touch leaving trails of sensitivity in its wake. He saw no reason to draw away just yet, intrigued that she would be so forward.

"It would be a shame." she said quietly.

"You make a habit of making no sense." he pointed out.

Her lips twisted with even more amusement, "Anyone ever tell you that you talk to much?"

Whatever reply he had was swallowed in the sudden press of her lips against his. This time the warmth and electric thrill of her touch flushed outward, searing his skin. Before he could respond she pulled away then stood. Her hand remained on his cheek so that her movements drew his face along with them, causing him to look up at her.

"I should have my head examined." she said with a shake of her head and a self depreciating laugh.

Her fingers fell away as she turned. She walked away without another word, searching in her pockets for what he assumed was her cigarettes. His lips still tingled from the unexpected kiss and yet again he had the vaguest impression Shizuru had gotten exactly what she wanted from him.

Humans were confusing.

Shizuru made no sense at all.

Oddly enough he was finding that to be an interesting and alluring quality.


	3. The Eww Factor

Author's Note: While it should be obvious what arc this is happening in yes I'm changing a few things just so this works for where it's going(timeline and certain situations). And yes these have to be oneshots...mostly because I think it works better as a whole that way.

Thanks for the Kuwabara inspiration dreamofstarysky!

* * *

"Hey Kuwabara you okay man? You look kinda sick."

Kuwabara grimly ignored Yusuke's sarcastic remark. He needed a shower. A hot shower that included using a lot of soap and a Brillo pad, one that could scrub the insides of his eyes and his brain.

The weird part about it was that he had not _**seen**_ anything that should cause that reaction. Not actually laid eyes on anything that required such a desparate act. Still he felt he needed it because what he had just walked in on was as bad as things got as far as he was concerned.

_**Five minutes earlier:**_

"Hey sis where's..." what he had been about to say trailed off as he entered the kitchen.

The scene itself while a little off was nothing to be alarmed about.

His sister was leaning against the sink, cigarette in hand. A diaphanous cloud of smoke surrounding her as she exhaled.

Across from her as impractical as it was, Hiei sat on the counter top, one leg dangling and the other cocked to support the arm that his chin rested on. Neither of the two were speaking only looking at each other.

Shizuru had an odd little smile on her face. Hiei could not be said to be actually smiling but he had the distinct impression that he was just shy of there being more then just a softening of the fire demon's features.

That part had been especially weird but that was not what had caused his voice to be lost. Nor was it what had made the blood begin to drain from his face in dawning horror.

It was the feel of the room itself that crawled up Kuwabara's spine with sickening abruptness. He had never wished away his spiritual awareness as abundantly and enthusiastically as he did at that moment.

He had walked in on a few things in his time, accidentally of course, and all of them had the same effect as this did.

Except this was not just walking in on some friends. This was walking in on his sister, his SISTER which was tantamount to walking in on his MOM! And it was so much worse because it was walking in on HIEI at the same time!

They were not even touching, were no where near each other but that did not change the fact that the air in the room held a very exact quality to it. That heavy, provocative tension that made you back out of a room as quickly as you could hoping they did not notice. That feeling that you were intruding on a make out session.

Except he was glued to the spot, caught between absolute horror and wanting to grab Hiei off the counter so he could beat him to a bloody pulp for causing that particularly disconcerting thought to be paired with anything having to do with his sister.

But he could not exactly do that because he was not touching her. They were not even talking. They were actually pretty far apart for how strong the vibes in the air were to him. While yes the words "sister", "Hiei", and "tension" had floated through his mind he was not the type of guy who would just pound someone because of it.

His mind violently shied away from the images of what would have had to be the scenario for him to feel justified in doing so.

They were _**still**_ staring at each other like he had not just entered the room so that alarming tension was not going away.

And it was his SISTER and HIEI!

"Can I help you with something Kuza?" Shizuru asked not turning to look at him as she took a drag from her cigarette.

Her voice was normal with no indication anything was so very wrong with the situation.

"ehhh..."

"Are you sure you're related?" Hiei asked Shizuru scathingly.

His voice was normal as well, biting and full of sarcasm.

All normal except they were _**still**_ looking at each other and not him!

_I think I'm going to be sick..._

He did not bother attempting to speak. He spun and left the kitchen area with thoughts of scrubbing thuroughly floating through his head. Wondering just how much scrubbing it actually would take before he would feel even slightly able to cope.

Which was how he ended up back in the living room still unable to speak even as Yusuke went past him on his way into the kitchen himself. Part of him wanted to warn Yusuke but that would have required thought past SISTER and HIEI.

"What are you doing in here all by yourself Shizuru?"

His brain caught up with Yusuke's question just as his sister answered.

"Nothing really."

"Well come be a joiner like the rest of us." Yusuke invited as he heard the door of the fridge open then close, "I think Kuwabara might be catching something. He doesn't look to good."

It was only then that he realized Hiei had disappeared on them yet again. There was no reason for him to have been in the kitchen to begin with. He had very pointedly been keeping himself away from the entire Shinobu Sensui situation. Apparently he had not wanted any of them to see him in the kitchen with Shizuru.

_And why didn't any of us sense him in there?!_

It was even more unnerving to realize the fire demon could come and go without even a small hint of him having been there in the first place.

"You okay little bro?"

_Sure. I'm just peachy. By the way what were you doing letting your energy make out with Hiei's?!_

A shudder of disgust went through him, "Nah I'm...I think I'll go lay down."

"Alright," she replied and he could hear perverse amusement in her tone, "just try not to let your imagination run to wild."

_EWWWWWWWWWWW!_

He almost ran from the room, her chuckle following him.


	4. Facing Demons

He had sought her out this time. Following her scent he had found her lounging in a deserted area outside of the building she worked in. He grasped the small space was supposed to bring to mind a garden of some kind, to invoke relaxation. To him it only looked like a sad copy of nature with tables and benches spaced between crudely made "rocks" and trees that appeared caged.

He had settled on one of the "rocks" nearest the bench she sat on leaning back on the table behind her as she smoked her cigarette.

Her eyes were on him again. That was nothing new. Her eyes rarely left him just as his eyes rarely left her when they came together. It was the abrupt intensity of her gaze that made him pause in the act of rebinding his right arm.

He never had tended to that particular chore in the presence of others. It was not that it bothered him to do so. It was because it bothered them. He understood. The dragon was not something to be taken lightly and in most just the sight of it wrapped around his arm invoked fear and concern.

The binding over the dragon was in need of replacement not because he needed such extravagant tools any longer to control it. The binding was more for simple concealment and practical applications such as keeping the wisp of power that radiated from it from being bothersome.

At any other time, with anyone else he would have left to tend to rebinding the arm. There had been no thought to doing so with her near. He was perhaps to comfortable in her presence.

He looked up to find not only were her eyes centered on the dragon but she was leaning forward, her hand outstretched. Several thoughts collided in his mind at once. Reflexively he caught her hand in his, staying her motion.

"Why?" he asked scowling at her.

She raised her eyes to his, "I won't be afraid."

"You are afraid." he countered angry with her and with himself, "and you're sensitive. You have no concept of what it could do to you. It could kill you."

Her lips twitched, "You won't let it."

He felt his eyes widen slightly at the faith in her voice. He was not all that certain which emotion that flared wildly at those words he felt the strongest, anger, confusion, or pride that she would feel that way towards him. Yusuke's faith had been shocking in and of itself. Her's was mind numbing, alarming, and humbling all at once.

"It's careless to think that" he returned annoyance winning out over the chaos, "you should know that."

Her eyes hardened, "What do you care? I'm just a human right?"

It was difficult not to respond. To not tighten his grip on her hand, knowing he could crush it if he was not careful enough. To not toss her hand from him in frustrated anger. To not understand why he did neither of those things.

His eyes narrowed as he wondered why it would bother him that she would call herself human. It was what she was. So why did it cut him so sharply to hear her say so?

"What are you trying to prove?" he demanded leaning forward, "This serves no purpose."

"To you." she replied, "Who said it had anything to do with you?"

He blinked, startled out of anger. Not for the first time he was swept up in the urge to use his Jagan. To delve into the inner mystery of what exactly drove her to do the things she did. It could not be that she was so very reckless, or so very stupid. She was neither of those things. There was something more to this impulse of her's and he wanted to know. Just as he wanted to know why her abilities called her to him repeatedly.

He would not, that decision he had made the first time they had come together in this manner. Other then the fact that he did not know if she would be aware of him doing so or not due to her abilities. He was loathe to do anything so underhanded to her. Or to act in such a cowardly manner himself.

"If you die then I'll be arrested." he growled.

Her lips quirked, "You always make up excuses not to do something?"

"Fine!" he snapped releasing his hand, "Do what you want. I accept none of the blame."

"Where's your spirit of adventure?" she teased, "What's the worst that could happen?"

"You die, I get arrested." he repeated glaring at her.

_You go insane. _

_You never want to touch me again._

_You become afraid of me **and** never want to touch me again._

Was it that important to him? That her lack of fear remain intact? When had that developed into something he would find imperative, even beyond the thought of her touching him?

For all his anger he still tensed as she put her hand out to touch the coils of the dragon on his arm.

"Shizuru..."

She stilled her eyes instantly on his, a question hanging in them. It was the first time he had called her by her name so it was understandably startling to her. It was equally startling to him since it had simply slipped out of his mouth in a breathy rush without him meaning for it to.

"I'm doing this," she affirmed though her expression softened, "Don't worry so much."

"I..." he began heatedly.

Then her fingers brushed his arm and for a heartbeat he could not breathe. The color drained from her face. Her expressive lips thinned, becoming a hard line. Her eyes lost focus gaining an eerie quality to them that disturbed him enough to knock her hand away.

In seconds he had the binding tight again, it was not perfect. He would have to redo it but that was for later. For right now his focus was her face.

He had not realized how tense he had become. How prepared he was for her absolute rejection until her eyes refocused and her lips became animated again, drawing back into that alluring smile.

"Running huh?"

"You're insane!" he snapped to cover the rush of relief.

Her only answer was an increase in the smile as she sat back. Her hands shook slightly as she lit another cigarette but that seemed to be the extent of side affects for what she had done. She tipped her head back blowing smoke towards the sky.

"At the tournament that scared me." she said keeping her head tilted up, "like walking into a freezer filled with pissed off demons that you couldn't see but you knew they were there waiting to grab you."

"If that's true why expose yourself to it now?" he asked confused.

She brought her head back down, taking another drag as she studied his face. For the first time her scrutiny was uncomfortable, the challenge in her eyes bordering between the normal and one he was much more use to from others.

"It's easy for me to like you." she said with a shrug, "It's not easy for me to be afraid. I won't be afraid of you so I had to make sure."

"By risking your sanity and life." he frowned, "You make no sense."

She chuckled, "It makes sense. Just as much as you finding me today makes sense."

"I was bored."

"Sure" she allowed flicking her cigarette, "You were bored so you came all the way here to find entertainment."

"I have few options in this world."

"Huh...I can name at least four other options." she smirked at him, "Of course you can't kiss them..."

The oddest sensation went through him causing him to break eye contact with her in favor of staring at the ground. For some reason his cheeks felt slightly warmer then usual.

He heard her take a final drag, the soft snap as she flicked her cigarette away. He picked his head up as she rose to leave.

Impulsively he grabbed her by the wrist, rising as he pulled her towards him. She made a small sound of amusement as she tipped her head up slightly to look at him.

"Not ever again." he insisted putting a hand to her cheek, "That is the one and only time you will do something like that."

"I'm brave not stupid Hiei." she returned, "I'm only a human."

He smiled slightly. He enjoyed the sound of his name coming from her.

"You are Shizuru and that's different then being only a human." he insisted before pressing his lips to her's.


	5. Push comes to Shove

This is one is Shizuru centric

* * *

"You're injured."

Shizuru turned to him, her insides churning as she took another drag from her cigarette. She had not come up to the roof for any other reason then to try gathering her thoughts.

It was to much. Her worry over Kazuma. The feeling that pervaded the air of something dark and treacherous beginning to crest. The knowledge that there was absolutely nothing that she could do to change any of it.

And here _**he**_ was, crouching on the corner of the roof ledge sword in hand. The dark and light warring around him in an almost visible battle to her. That familiar scowl on his face that came when he did not want to admit to something strong and powerful inside of him.

It was to much.

"Not anymore." she said frowning at him as she flicked her ashes, "What are you doing here?"

"Your blood. I dislike the smell of it." he replied drawing himself up to stand fully, "It's a vile scent."

_My blood..._

"They took Kazuma." she said her brow furrowing more, "They took my brother and all you have to say is my blood smells bad to you?!"

Didn't he understand?! Couldn't he grasp the things that were taking place at that moment?! The things that she could only barely sense like some horrifying, deadly storm advancing on the world with only devastation in its promise?! Couldn't he feel the change in the wind?!

"What else is there?"

"Stop it!" she yelled at him tossing the cigarette from her and advancing on him, "Stop being such a bastard! Don't you get anything?! You're just as bad as them!"

His eyes narrowed, "You want me to care what happens? I don't. That change you feel is my world."

It did not surprise her that he would voice that. She had already known. It was one of the curses to her abilities. That knowing without being told and it applied to him most specifically lately. She knew that darkness creeping into her senses was attached to him in some way, that to him it was home. She knew he craved it like she would have craved the same if she were cut off from everything she knew so intimately in that way.

Knowing did nothing to stop the upwelling of irritation in her over his reluctance.

"You have to make a choice." she said angrily, "You have to stop fence sitting Hiei. I know you can't stand by and let your friends take all the weight of this."

A cold smirk lifted his lips, his eyes turning distant, "Actually I have every intention of doing so."

"Why do you do that?" she demanded, "Why do you lie like that?"

He only continued to stare down at her from his perch on the corner of the building. She was tempted to shove him off his perch, to let out the tight knot of frustration in her. Instead she rummaged in her pockets and lit another cigarette, drawing the smoke deeply before letting it out in one long breath.

"If he dies I'll hate you." she said turning away from him and towards where she felt the storm coming from, "If my brother dies because you won't admit to yourself that they matter at least I'll hate you Hiei."

She swallowed the sick feeling that rose in her saying those words. She had to say them. She simply _**knew**_ he had to get involved. If that meant driving him away from her she was willing to do that. No matter how much that thought caused her stomach to twist in tight, painful knots.

She looked down at the lighter she was gripping tightly in her hand. The sense of loss it invoked stealing over her momentarily. Not just the loss of Sakyo and what might have been with him. For some reason Hiei was added to it making the reality of her feelings all that much more tragic.

It was funny in an awful way if she thought about it. How quickly he had become important to her. How easy it had been to like him when before that first night he had been just another of Kazuma's fighter friends. She had him lumped in with Yusuke, Kurama, and those little punks that he hung around with from school.

She had not known who it was that drew her to the rooftop that first night. She had not known who she was searching for that day she had hiked up to the bluff. It was abnormal for her abilities to actually bring her to anyone that would have an impact on her directly.

She was the ultimate expression of the silent witness. She had gotten use to that, built a shield around herself to protect herself from the bombardment of the things she was shown. That shield gave most the impression that she was unconcerned with the things that went on around her. She was anything but unconcerned. She had just mastered the ability to internalize it, to keep it hidden away unless it overwhelmed her.

"You hate the smell of my blood. You shouldn't worry. If they win I won't be alive so you won't have to smell it at all." she said out loud, shoving the lighter into her pocket, "Hurry up before they make your decision for you."

She heard him shift to leave. She could not help turning her head in his direction. She was a little surprised that he was still there. His eyes were not on her face but on the sleeve of her shirt, on the dried blood that soaked it. She had meant to go through Atsuko's things and find a clean one but it had felt much more important to collect herself someplace private.

That had led her here to the roof and this confrontation with Hiei.

_I probably should have known that's why. I probably should have kept myself from caring this much about him. I feel like I'm pushing him to jump off a cliff..._

"Demons and humans are the same." she found herself saying to him, tensing internally as his eyes jumped to her's, "Exactly the same. What gives you the right to judge if all you're going to do is watch while the blood flows?"

She had no idea what had brought those words out of her. She had long ago learned to flow with her uncanny knowledge of what needed to be said at certain times, or what needed to be done. Most of the time it brought her only pain to be the one to say or do those things. She did it anyway since there was never a real hope of stopping it from happening.

He had tensed even more, his glare turning abruptly into something closer to hate. She could feel the anger from him, the sudden impulse to destroy the source of the emotion. He was a demon after all. If he wanted to he could end her life very easily. That had never swayed her but at this moment she was chilled by the sudden actuality of it.

_Please don't make me say anything else. Jump already!_

From one moment to the next he was gone from sight.

She exhaled slowly, releasing the breath she had been unaware she was holding. She shifted to lean against the edging of the roof staring up at the sky as she finished her cigarette.

There was still the sense of impending doom, that out of control feeling to everything circling to an apex that was out of her reach to see.

There was also a sense of settling. She knew Hiei had made his decision. That he had not simply disappeared but was on his way towards the darkness, towards that something that terrified her even if she did not know exactly what it was yet.

As she flicked the butt of the cigarette away she drew her shield more firmly around her, though she knew it was imperfect at this point.

_Should go check on Keiko..._


	6. Relief

She exhaled watching the smoke curl upward as she lay in her bed. The only other sound in the house was the soft double snap of the lighter in her hand as she toyed with it.

It was over.

Kazuma had returned home safe.

Yusuke had managed yet again to make it through something impossible. His death and rebirth as stunning as it had been to hear about had only caused her to smile in acceptance. Of course Yusuke had pulled something like that. He was the only one who could manage to die not once but twice and still be alive.

Hiei had also managed to survive which she was grateful for. His death might have shattered her past what Sakyo's had done.

"_Sometimes they're just evil and want to break your heart."_

She took another drag, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. She still had not heard from him since that last time on the roof. She had suspected that might happen, that did not change that she wished things had gone differently between them.

That was part of her main problem at the moment. That cloud of darkness had eased somewhat with the defeat of that madman Sensui but it had not completely disappeared.

It hovered on the edges of her awareness, not clear enough to provide insight and just solid enough to distract her when she was relaxed as she was now. It was one of the reasons she tried to stay busy. This late at night there was nothing to do except think or sleep and sleep was not being cooperative tonight.

She assumed it meant they were not yet done with each other, a part of her almost hoping but she was not certain that was the case. She was not the type to delude herself.

There was a soft sound at her open window. Without looking she knew who it was but kept herself in the same prone position.

"You know it's illegal to just come into someone's house." she commented.

"Is it surprising?" he returned sounding amused, "I am a criminal after all."

"Took you long enough."

He let the small smile touch his lips. She did not fool him any longer. She had shown the passion underneath, that face he knew very few were privy to a week ago. He could hear it now, a secondary tone to the one she normally used.

"I was delayed." he offered reclining against the window ledge and folding his arms as he watched her.

There was a tension in her as she laid there. He could tell her mind was not fully on him. The click of her lighter did not stop though he had expected it to which only added to the oddness of the situation. He had not expected a fond greeting but this absence was unnerving.

That he had been delayed was only a partial truth. He had not been physically delayed but caught up in thinking through the events of the past week or so. To many things had happened all at once and he had been hard pressed to deal with the implications of his reactions to those events. She was an aspect to many of those reactions.

He had been furious when he had left the roof but in private he had seen the truth behind her words. That scent of the demon world in the air had caught him up in a type of trance. His thoughts as those smells had become stronger had become clouded. Just as clouded as Yusuke's reasoning had become by the time he reached him in the forest.

In reality he had needed that conflict with Yusuke to reestablish his own sense of purpose though he had allowed Yusuke to assign nobler intentions to the act. He had followed Yusuke into the cave with the scent of her blood haunting him until he had witnessed Yusuke's death which obliterated any thought beyond the death of Sensui.

Upon waking he had found himself not in the demon world but back in the human world. Again he had been furious that they had brought him back but at the same time he had felt relief. That relief had confused him completely until the moment Kurama had handed him the Chapter Black tape. Once in his hands the only thing that came to mind was the smell of her blood. How instead of exciting him it had disgusted and enraged him.

Shizuru shifted onto her side to put out her cigarette thankfully interrupting that annoying sound of her lighter.

"You look like hell."

"The detective died."

Her eyebrows rose before she sat up, setting the lighter on the side table. He tensed, stunned by the words having slipped out. It was not what he had been thinking of saying.

"That must have been hard for you."

He could only stare at her. There were times he was certain she was insane or something close to it. Not a second before she had seemed engrossed in dark thoughts and now she had turned her attention to him, concern on her face. It should not have surprised him. She was deft at turning away her own turmoils in favor of attending to another.

"They brought me back to this world."

"Where should I send the flowers?"

He scowled, "I don't find this all that amusing."

"Why did you come here?"

"That is a ridiculous question."

"Huh...well then I guess it's been interesting Hiei but I have better things to do then pry words out of you." she replied shifting to lean back on her wall, the lighter still in her hands.

"I came to see you."

She chuckled but he did not like the sound of it, there was no humor to it at all, "You don't know why you came. Just like I don't know why I want you to stay."

"Yusuke died."

Again the words had just slipped from him but this time he knew why. There was deep meaning to those words, to him personally. The spirit detective, Yusuke, the human had died and he had needed to see her alive since she was so very human. He would never say those words out loud. He was depending on her unique form of understanding to grasp those things.

She sighed lightly, "Come here."

He approached the bed cautiously which seemed to amuse her since finally her smile touched her lips. Her eyes were no longer dark but understanding if not a little sad. He had not intended to sleep when he entered the room but as her hand caught his a wave of exhaustion slipped through him.

"You need to sleep," she said patting the space beside her, "I promise not to bite."

He snorted, "Even if you did I doubt I would feel it."

"I can still toss you out on your head you know."

"You could attempt to." he replied crawling into the offered area, "but we both know you have no intention of doing so. Your threats are not as impressive as I thought they would be."

"Was that a joke?"

He settled his head onto the pillow next to her, closing his eyes, "I never joke."

He felt the barest whisper of a touch along his cheek. Without opening his eyes he captured her hand in his, bringing it down to his chest. There was the slightest sensation of something heavy lifting inside of him.

"Closer." he muttered.

It could have been taken as a demand or plea, he was unconcerned with how she took it as long as she complied. There was a long silence before he heard her turn off the light on the nightstand. She lay down molding her body to the side of his, her face resting in his hair. Even more of that nonexistent weight shifted away drawing a soft sigh from him. Her scent enveloped him, her all to human heart filling his ears with its steady thrum.

"You aren't evil." she whispered.

The ghost of a smile touched his lips, "You normally invite evil to lay beside you?"

"No just smart ass criminals." she returned.


	7. Temptation

He watched her move around the kitchen from his perch on the counter top.

Shizuru embodied the concept of temptation.

It was in her lips.

In her eyes, that flashing challenge with its hints of amusement.

It was in the way she moved. It was subtle in her motions. The assurance of his attention came with those half glimpsed moments that she was indeed far stronger then she let on. He knew from having observed her just how much strength there was to her.

There had been a day he had noticed her as she traveled with the other human girl Keiko through the winding streets of the city. Out of curiosity and general lack of anything else to do he had followed them. Neither seemed to pay much attention to their surroundings as they spoke back and forth. The fact that two unsavory looking humans took special note of them as they passed, peeling themselves from the building to follow the females did not seem to register to either.

He had tensed when one reached out to grab Shizuru's elbow from behind, ready to intervene. Her reaction had been instant and devastating. The uppercut she landed would have made any fighter proud, the obvious power behind it knocking the thug onto his back. The thug's companion only stared at Shizuru in stupefaction, raising his hands in a sign of surrender.

It was not that it shocked him.

He had known there was more to her. It was in that decided lack of telegraph for her movements. At first it had unnerved him making her a decided unknown when it came to actions. The scene on the street had simply brought the reasoning home. She was a fighter after all, just of a different make up. It would be difficult to see an attack coming from Shizuru. It had only served to add to the growing list of things he appreciated about her.

The longer he knew her the deeper he found that appreciation becoming. Instead of being bothered by it he found himself giving way to the unusual feelings she stirred in him.

Kuwabara walked into the kitchen pointedly ignoring his presence in favor of searching through the cupboards.

Away from the dwelling Kuwabara acted as he normally would when around him. The rules changed the instant Shizuru was added to the mix.

He could not help the smirk that came to his face. The idiot giant's initial reaction to his presence in the kitchen had been one of the most enjoyable moments of his time in the human world.

Even he could appreciate the irony of Kuwabara's open dislike of his and Shizuru's relationship though he doubted that Kuwabara himself would. Oddly enough Shizuru also kept that particular knowledge from her brother. He had no intention of the human ever knowing why it would cause such dark amusement in him.

"We out of peanut butter?" Kuwabara asked, his head still in a cupboard.

"Hiei's eating the last of it." Shizuru responded lightly.

"Damn it Hiei stop eating our food!" Kuwabara snapped slamming the cupboard shut to glare at him.

Hiei nonchalantly licked the spoon in his hand of the last of the peanut butter, "I would but your sister insists."

Kuwabara scowled at Shizuru who shrugged.

"A little flavoring never hurt." was all she said.

"I hate both you guys."

That said Kuwabara left the kitchen, his face screwed up in an obvious effort not to think in the terms just used.

"One of these times he's going to learn he isn't going to win." she commented.

He snorted, "That would require the actual ability to form a complete thought."

She chuckled as she crossed the kitchen to stand infront of him, her arms going to either side. He obligingly tilted his head up knowing she had meant what she said to Kuwabara. Shizuru had a liking for peanut butter that he tended to use to his own advantage.

The light touch of her tongue on his lips the instant their mouths touched almost drew a laugh from him at her impatience.

He gave himself over to the vibrant warmth that exploded inside of him as their tongues danced. But it was when she drew his tongue into her mouth, sucking greedily that he was swept up into it almost entirely.

It took a great deal of control for him to break the kiss before he did lose himself in the growing heated tide. She only smiled knowingly, placing a much more chaste kiss on his lips before pulling away. She went back to preparing dinner.

He was not certain how they had come to the understanding over the physical nature to their interaction. At least he did not know why it was exactly that Shizuru seemed just as against bedding him as he was against bedding her.

His reasoning was simple.

It did not feel right to do so.

It was not that he found her undesirable. She tested the limits of his control on a continual basis. They teased each other relentlessly, taking the interactions only so far and no further.

There was something about her that required of him to show restraint in that particular area. He would not bed her because she was Shizuru. To be that intimate with her would require that he did not have that sense of something still being unfinished. Until he accomplished whatever it was that would fullfil that he would not offer her something that would be less then she deserved.

She was just as apt to break away as him. Even the times they had shared in her bed were chaste, time spent in sleep or talking. If they kissed it was with that unspoken understanding of only that.

There were times she drew away from him that he saw something dark cloud her eyes. At those times she was given to playing with the black and gold lighter and be lost momentarily in thoughts she did not share with him.

He did not question those times though he had come to hate the small object with a passion that bordered on obsession. He would have destroyed it by now except for one thing. She would not like for the lighter to disappear and he could not bring himself to cross that line. Again it felt wrong to do so and he chaffed at such abnormal behavior from himself.

So he did the next best thing.

He hid the lighter on occasion though apparently her abilities covered finding the damnable thing no matter where he put it. He had a suspicion she knew he had hidden it in the first place.

"Kuza!" Shizuru yelled over the shoulder, "I need you to run to the store!"

"Yes...you're out of peanut butter." he agreed drawing a wicked look from her that set off the smoldering heat inside of him that had become a constant around her.

Shizuru embodied the concept of temptation for him.

And she was well aware of it.

* * *

HA! Bet you were thinking this would be way more lemon then that cause of the title huh? :D Please for the love of all you find good and wonderful review!


	8. Misstep

"Okay what the hell did you do runt cause she is pissed!"

He glared at down at Kuwabara for a moment before going back to studying the distance from his seat in the tree beside their home.

He actually was mystified at to why Shizuru was angry. She had neglected to inform him as to what exactly she had found remiss in his actions early. He saw nothing that warranted such a reaction from her.

"Come on Hiei give it up." Yusuke added though his tone held more amusement, "Even Keiko can't get a word out of her."

Keiko had been called in by the fools after they had been unable to get Shizuru to respond to them. The girl could usually be counted upon to bring Shizuru around if she did in fact become angry. It was a rarity but it did happen. It was almost amusing to see Kuwabara's reaction to those moments. The young man lived in fear of true anger from his sister.

"Hey I'm not dealing with her like this shortcake!" Kuwabara shouted up at him, "Get down here or..."

"Or what exactly?" he interrupted returning his attention to Kuwabara, "You'll bombard me with useless threats?"

"That's it!" Kuwabara growled cupping his hands to produce his spirit sword, "I'm cutting him out of that tree!"

"Chill out Kuwabara." Yusuke laughed, rubbing at the back of his head as he gazed up at Hiei, "Just tell us what happened."

"I have yet to hear why it is such a concern of yours." He replied annoyed by their continued insistence.

"I'll tell you why!" Kuwabara exclaimed having given up on the spirit sword, "Because she can hold a grudge pipsqueak and when Shizuru holds a grudge it's against everyone! I'm not dealing with her by myself here! Just because you went and had a fight..."

"There was no fight between us." He corrected cocking a leg so he could lean an arm against it, "There was nothing that resembled any real fight at all."

Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged glances.

"Oh man...he didn't..." Kuwabara muttered shaking his head.

He narrowed his eyes as a strange smile came to Yusuke's face.

"Uh Hiei" Yusuke began awkwardly, "You...didn't happen to get in the middle of one of her fights did you?"

He snorted in contempt, "As I said there was no fight. A moron grabbed her and I took exception. He was still breathing the last I saw of him."

It was clear to him. There was no reason for her anger. The idiot human had put his hands on Shizuru, perhaps to just get her attention but that had not mattered to him in the least. He had only hit the man eight times. True there had been a fair amount of blood but he had not killed him. If he had then he could have possibly understood the anger.

"Hey did you guys figure out what made Shizuru so mad?" Keiko asked exiting the house.

"Hiei got into one of her fights." Yusuke answered gesturing at him.

Keiko's eyes rounded, "Oh no, but that explains it."

They were frustrating him. Obviously there was more to this then he understood and none of them were explaining it.

"I still don't see how this is any of your business." he growled at them.

"You messed up Hiei." Yusuke said then laughed, "I did it once to and trust me I will never do it again."

"If all you intend to do is talk nonsense go some other place to do it." he snapped.

"Was it a demon?" Kuwabara asked.

"No if it had been the end of my statement would have been that I killed it." he answered tightly.

"Don't get me wrong Hiei I'm all about you caring about my sister but you really shouldn't have done that." Kuwabara insisted, "You only do that if she asks you to otherwise you stay out of her way."

He blinked in surprise. They could not be serious, could they?

It took him less then a second to move from the tree branch to her bedroom door. She had shut her window very pointedly against him when they had arrived. He slid the door open to find her on her bed staring at the ceiling again. The barest hint of smoke in the air said she had just finished with one of her cigarettes.

"Go away."

"You are angry with me because I defended you?"

It came out more incredulous then he felt but not by much. He had not even thought of the situation in those terms nor had he been aware of her severe aversion to that type of treatment. As far as he knew human females were no strangers to that type of reaction of the males near to them. Most he observed would have appreciated it.

Of course Shizuru was not most human females.

"Do I look like I can't take care of myself?" she asked.

There was definitely a note of warning in her voice that actually made his muscles tense slightly in response.

"Am I supposed to take that as a serious question?" he replied.

"You aren't to bright are you." she returned her voice becoming tighter.

Strangely enough though it felt like stepping into the den of some caged waiting animal he was not exactly wary as he went through the room to the side of her bed. She let her eyes meet his as he stood over her. There was a definite fire of anger to her eyes, a hardness that he only had seen a few times.

"This your idea of living dangerously?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

She was furious with him for having defended her. The entire concept was as amusing as it was mind boggling. This was a mindset he would expect from him or Yusuke, even Kuwabara but it had not occurred to him that she might have it as well.

It was also seductive in its own right.

He bent over and captured her lips with his. A small sound of annoyance escaped her a second before her mouth softened as she responded to him.

He had no idea just how long they kissed only that by the time he pulled back both of them were breathless and she was still glaring up at him.

"That your way of apologizing?"

He smirked, "I never apologize."

"Don't do it again." she warned.

"If it's human you can hit it." he agreed.


	9. Reality Bites

"Hiei seems happy."

She chuckled through the exhalation of smoke, "Who you kidding girl? Hiei never seems happy."

They were in the park. It was one of those unusual days that for some reason all at once they had gathered in the same place. For a person as sensitive as she was she understood the happenstance. There were just some groups that drew together without conscious thought.

This group of young men, demons, her and Keiko were one of such groups. Their energies, souls, whatever it was called to each other. It brought them together without effort from any of them.

Though admittedly the call was much less for her and Keiko.

They were satellites to the young men, a part of their lives but apart from what drew those men together. She did not resent the knowledge. She could not since it was a role she was use to playing.

Keiko giggled, that infectious way that never failed to bring a smile to her face, "Okay he seems less unhappy."

She made a noncommittal sound, watching the four as they talked not far away.

"You to."

"Hmm?"

"You seem happier." Keiko insisted, "Its so nice having everyone together like this."

"Just missing Genkai and Botan." she added flicking her ashes to the side of the bench they were occupying, "Haven't heard from either of them in awhile."

There was a change to the young woman beside her, a strain added to the air.

"Go ahead Keiko you know I won't judge." she encouraged knowing there were things that just needed to be said aloud.

"Is it wrong of me to be glad Botan isn't around?" Keiko almost whispered.

She glanced at Keiko, using the excuse of taking a drag to decide how best to express what she knew was the reality of the situation. She could lie, try to comfort Keiko but that was not in her to do.

"It's not a bad thing," she allowed turning more towards Keiko, "I get it. When she's around that usually means our boys are in the middle of doing or about to do something stupid and dangerous."

Keiko nodded but her hands twisted in her lap. There was absolute misery on the girl's face.

"He isn't done you know." she said sitting back, letting her eyes rest on Yusuke.

"What?" Keiko squeaked, "What do you mean Shizuru?"

She would have rather not voiced what she felt. It always seemed like giving definition to the things she sensed made them come to pass. So she fought doing so as long as she could. It was a battle fought in vain.

It made her heart sick, what she saw when she looked at Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei. She could only be thankful that this time around Kazuma seemed not to be involved and in a small way that made her feel guilty. Especially knowing how difficult things would be in the future for Keiko whose world revolved around Yusuke.

She took another drag, propping her elbows up on the back of the bench, "You know Yusuke. He's like a magnet for stupid and dangerous. You know he's not going to be happy with this not having anything to do stuff."

Keiko sighed heavily, "You know something don't you Shizuru."

Know? That was not exactly the term she would have used. It was just a sense of the trio's presence lessening at times, fading though they were standing right there. Just as now with her eyes on them she could feel that sensation moving through her, that lightening to their being that had nothing to do with the physical and everything to do with that dark cloud that had continued to hound her.

The closer it came to whatever was going to occur the more their presence faded. There were times at night she woke next to Hiei and she found herself drawing him closer. He normally would shift in his sleep somehow unconsciously giving in to her abrupt need. It helped that he would do that, respond to her instantly by burrowing tighter against her.

Unfortunately at those times it was almost as if she were holding onto a ghost, trying to cling to something already no longer there.

Out of habit she dug in her pocket withdrawing the black and gold lighter to toy with it.

"The problem with caring about guys like them is that it takes a lot for them to really be happy Keiko." she said into the tension between them that was more of a shared misery, "The only way they can be is to find it on their own. They have to be who they are and if we try to stop them it won't work out well for anybody. You saw all of them at the tournament. Yeah they were getting the hell beat out of them but you got it then."

Again Keiko nodded before sitting back herself, "I just...don't know how to deal with it."

She chuckled, "Yes you do. You let them be that way and do your own thing while they do. There's no reason why you can't be happy to."

"Can you? Away from Hiei I mean?"

Her eyebrows rose, "What?"

Keiko cast a sad smile at her, "You were looking at him to when you said that Shizuru."

She twisted the lighter in her hand, "I won't worry about it, not until it happens. When it does then I guess yeah I can be. It's not like I thought this would be permanent Keiko. Hiei was always a...surprise."

She pushed away the heaviness that was creeping up on her internally as best she could. It had sounded good but it was not the full truth. Hiei was a subject she had always known would become one of the more difficult things she would have to deal with.

She pushed herself up from the bench, suddenly needing to be in motion.

"Shizuru?"

"It's a no win situation Keiko," she said tearing her eyes away from Hiei to meet Keiko's, "it's going to hurt no matter what. All you can do is enjoy what time you have with guys like them or you can decide to walk away and never see them again."

"What are you going to do?"

"I like the little criminal so I'm going to keep being happy that he's around. And when the time comes I'll let him go."

Keiko frowned as if hearing that infinitesimal difference in her words meaning when it applied to herself. In the end there was a difference between Keiko and Yusuke and her and Hiei. There was no use denying that reality either.

"I'm going to get something for everyone to drink." she said stuffing the lighter back in her pocket and turning from Keiko.

She could be considered running from the conversation, which in truth she was. She needed the time alone to reassert her stability on the subject. It was something she had gotten use to having to do. She would make the decision that she had just voiced, her resolve firming and then without warning that resolve would vanish threatening to overwhelm her with loss.

_Real smart Shizuru. Just had to go and do this to yourself._


	10. Parting Ways

Author's Note: This is where the story starts deviating a little from the original. In fairness I warned ya'll that it would happen.

* * *

He found her on the bluff they had come together the second time her senses had drawn her to him. Sitting on the bench though without her usual cigarette in place. Instead she shifted that irritating lighter in her hand as she leaned back, elbows resting on the back of the bench.

He had high hopes that this Mukuro could live up to the promise of gain for him. Before that message he had felt somewhat adrift. Uncertain exactly what the next step was to further the still present sensation that he still had things yet to accomplish. It had taken less then a heartbeat for him to make the decision. He would be returning to demon world and that was almost the same as severing ties completely with this human one.

The excitement he felt was only tempered by the knowledge that he would be leaving her behind. The ensuing internal conflict that had arose with that realization had caused him to delay this particular moment.

He purposefully made noise so as not to startle her as he approached.

She turned her head, "Nice of you to drop by."

He frowned a little unable to identify that tone to her voice, there was a softness he was not use to in it.

"You were not at your home."

"I wanted some fresh air," she shrugged turning her face from him to look out into the distance, "Yusuke left last night?"

"You know that already." he dismissed taking up the spot next to her on the bench that he had occupied then, "Just as you know I will be leaving soon as well."

She nodded, "Kazuma told me."

He snorted, "You've known for some time even before I did."

Her eyes flashed to his then away confirming what had only been a suspicion. She pulled out her cigarettes but he stayed her motion with his hand over her's.

"Why?"

"Don't turn stupid on me now Hiei. I said it before. It would've been a shame not to." she replied pulling her hand out from under his and finishing what she had been in the middle of doing.

As she took her first drag he tried to understand her words.

It made no sense though that was the main theme of all that was Shizuru. Of all the things she had done, to purposefully initiate and then encourage their interaction with her senses telling her the ending was by far the most confusing thing he had been a part of. He could not imagine what it would take for someone to put themselves into a situation tainted with loss from the beginning knowingly.

He was privately disgusted with himself for not having realized it before. The signs had been there if he had bothered to notice. Her absence at certain times even when he was in her company. That darkening of her mood that happened more often before he had received that message from Muruko. And when he thought about it those times he had been roused from sleep, finding her almost clinging to him in the dark shaking from some unknown fear.

Then again it had made no sense for him to have become so close to a human. For him to become so caught up in what was between them. With her it had been as simplistic as drawing breath.

There would be more things then he had thought missing once he was no longer in this world.

Bewilderingly after one more pull from her cigarette she flicked the unfinished portion away. That was not something normal for her. In fact to his knowledge she had never rid herself of a cigarette before finishing the majority of it. He had thought it a delaying tactic.

After ridding herself of the smoke she abruptly grabbed his face pulling his lips against her's crushingly.

The suddenness of her action had him responding before he was aware he was doing so. An upsurge of excruciating passion took him under momentarily, drowning him in its power. It was disorienting, her kiss had never caused such immediate and overwhelming pain.

Before he could recover she was pulling away.

Her hands remained on his face as they met each other's eyes breathing harshly. Her's were hard, compelling and fuller then he had ever seen them.

"Don't die." she ordered then released his face.

Not "Stay". Which he had thought might come from her.

Nor was it "Come back". Which he had expected more.

It was simply "Don't die."

She was standing up, already stepping away before his senses could reestablish his equilibrium from both the kiss and her imperative wording.

"Shizuru..." he began.

"I have a shift to get to." she said without looking at him, "You have fun."

It was surreal, that moment, everything happening faster then he had expected. Faster then he had been prepared for it to. She was walking away as if this were nothing more than a chance meeting and not a farewell as he knew it to be.

He caught her by the wrist before she could pass the end of the bench. She tensed under his touch which baffled him.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

She sighed heavily, "You just aren't going to let this be easy for me are you."

He had no idea what to say to that.

Make it easy for her? Why would he when abruptly he wanted nothing more then for this to be anything other then what it was?

He had acted to keep her there, not willing yet for her to be gone. He had not planned on anything past stopping her from leaving. After a long silence she finally turned back to him.

He almost flinched from the wry twist on her lips. It was out of place, not the expression he had been expecting or wanted for that matter. He wanted to see something deeper, a hint of what was held in her eyes. He wanted to understand why it felt as if she were running from him.

Their eyes locked, generating the familiar yet somehow abruptly different heat between them. It breathed and swelled, shifting with chaotic undercurrents of pain and another emotion he could not identify. That emotion pervaded the space between them pressing on his core as nothing ever had previously.

He reached up his free hand to touch her face, stilling momentarily as her eyes cut from his to the hand then back again.

Strangely enough as his fingers touched her cheek and she leaned into the caress it was that small clue that answered his questions.

As much as she had never made sense to him in that instant he understood her completely.

She did not want him to leave, she was so against it she was frozen with the emotions and yet she would not fight his decision. She had been trying to make it easier for him and for herself with her abruptness.

_Strange...I'm glad she does not want this._

It did nothing to change his choice. He would go to demon world. He would find what it was he was still in search of for himself. He knew she grasped that without him having to say it and knowing that only made that unknown emotion clench inside of him in that same excruciating way her kiss had.

This time when their lips met it was not with the desperation of before, it was soft and with a tenderness he had not thought possible of himself.


	11. Soothe

Kuwabara looked up from the books he had been studying.

He noticed with a part of his mind that night had fallen outside. He had been so busy with what he had been doing he had not even paid attention when he had clicked on his desk lamp for light.

Something had stirred nearby, a vague sense of some weight shifting. It was not the heart lightening type of movement but the type that steadily drew someone down under it's massiveness threatening to crush the person with it's presence.

He sat back, his eyes going to the open door of his bedroom, "Oh..."

There were distinct moments that he was absolutely in tune with the people nearest him so upon feeling that shadowy oppressive shift in energies he left his room in search of the person behind the feeling.

He had known it was coming.

While he was distinctly uncomfortable with what had developed between his sister and Hiei there was no denying that the two cared for each other. It had been made perfectly clear to him when the relationship had survived past Hiei getting involved in one of Shizuru's fights. As far as he knew nobody else had accomplished that particular feat.

He found her in the living room on the couch. She had herself wedged in the far corner of it, knees drawn up to her chest. She looked lost, smaller then she was in that position. It made his heart ache to see her that way.

He reached over and turned off the main light to the room as he passed the switch leaving only the two side lamps on either end of the couch for illumination. She did not react to the sudden onset of darkness which told him she was more upset then she was allowing to touch her outward appearance.

He got that. He might not understand many things very easily. He still was having trouble with Yusuke's reasoning behind leaving to demon world. He still was upset with Kurama and Hiei for their own choices in doing the same though as far as he knew Hiei and Kurama had not left yet.

But he did understand a few things. He understood what it was like to anticipate sudden loss. He grasped what it felt like to be the one left behind.

He walked over and sat on the couch near her, switching off the farthest lamp before turning to Shizuru. It always spooked him a little to see her like this.

There was something wrong with his tough as nails, dry humored older sister showing this kind of vulnerability. At the same time he felt honored she would at least some of the time let it show around him.

Her eyes finally met his and he did not bother smiling at her. That would be an insult to the obvious pain that swam there just barely held in check. He reached over her and shut off the last light, leaving them in perfect darkness as he gathered her against his side.

"It's...gone." she whispered in a tone much to soft to come from her.

"What is?"

"The darkness. It was there just a few minutes ago but...I don't think I can sense...him anymore."

He pulled her closer. So that was it. Hiei had gone to demon world. That made sense after all considering what he had seen in her eyes.

Shizuru was an odd person. She only let herself feel things to their fullest when she felt as if no one could see her doing it. So he just held her waiting for the small sigh that came a second later followed by the choked beginnings of her starting to cry.

He also did not bother telling her that everything was going to be alright. Nothing was alright in what she was feeling. When your heart was busy tearing itself to pieces inside of you nothing seemed as if it would ever be alright again.

He had felt that way when Yukina had returned to her world and Shizuru had been so kind to him then, not once uttering those insane words.

He might not approve of her choices in guys. In fact he could have thought of a million better, human ones then Hiei.

What he did know with absolute certainty was that somewhere along the line Shizuru had fallen in love with the fire demon.

And if he was any judge Hiei felt the same towards her.

Though he could not quite understand why neither of them would own up to it. It seemed like such a waste of time not admitting to someone how you felt about them but they were both strange people.

His shirt was beginning to soak through but he did not mind. He would sit there all night if that's what she needed in order to get the first wave out of her system.

By tomorrow she would be back to normal, cracking the whip at him to keep him studying as if this had never happened.

He knew it was going to take her a long time to get over Hiei leaving.

_Shoulda laid him out when I had the chance! _

The sharp annoyance slipped away just as quickly as it had reared it's head. It was more important to tend to Shizuru then to think about hitting Hiei. Though he really wanted to just in response to the painfully small, hurt filled sounds that escaped Shizuru as she cried against him.

He sighed inwardly, shifting to a more comfortable position as he held his older sister while her heart shattered hoping it was at least helping that he was there.


	12. Corruption

He had been corrupted.

There was no other explanation for it.

Somehow, at some point he had been unaware of he had been corrupted by _**her**_.

That was the thought in his semi conscious mind as he floated in the revival tank, healing from what should have been life ending injuries. That his life would have ended last made him the clear victor but that point was not what occupied his mind.

That said point was not foremost in his thoughts only added to the certainty of corruption.

Why should he care?

Why else would he be finding himself feeling of all things compassion for the reality that was Muruko?

He should if nothing else be noticing the weaknesses in her. He should be keeping careful note of anything that would give him an advantage though clearly he had one just in being who he was it seemed. He should be uninterested in the things being revealed to him through the Jagan to the point of annoyance.

Instead because of that corruption he was paying more attention to the outpouring from Muruko then he would have before. He could easily agree that they had much in common. The constant struggle for survival. The drive to be stronger. The past that had so enveloped them that it became their present and future as well. Hate that caused all else to dim in comparison.

For someone of obvious psychic abilities the demon that stood before him was remarkably without true insight into herself or into him for that matter. Her interest in him bordered on obsessive though he could tell she had no real idea why it was she was so drawn. She imagined they shared so much in common that it superseded any other consideration.

The basic fact was she only knew him through the touch of the stone and from study. Quick perusal of his surface thoughts would give her no real information and in that she had been lax. The addition of the Jagan had taught him the necessity of hidden depths and therefore his surface thoughts even semi conscious were of only the things he allowed to be there.

Muruko spoke of reading his heart and soul which he found laughable. If she had been able to, if she had been truly interested to search him she would have found much more then what she claimed to know.

Muruko was incorrect in assuming that stone was the only thing that had made him feel calm and at ease. There was something else, someone else who had always created much the same affect in him since the first moment they had had been drawn together.

Nor was he searching for death. He had been told very pointedly not to die and the agony he had witnessed when those words had been spoken still echoed in him. His own mortality was a fleeting thing to be considered. He never entered a fight without the knowledge his death might be the final outcome. Might was never a term he found as something to concern himself with.

He did not search for a sense of belonging which was the genuine thing her soul so cried out for. He was unsure when that had become a part of his reality but it was the truth.

All it brought to mind was an event that he had experienced with Shizuru, one of the rare times her abilities had been brought to bare infront of him.

They had been spending time in that artificial nature area outside of her building when she had frowned, stood and headed towards the back portion of it where a young human had just seated himself on one of the benches.

He had not interrupted, curiously watching as she stepped up to the human.

"You shouldn't be here you know." she said to the young man who glared up at her.

"Who the hell are you? The garden police?" he snapped at her.

"There's someplace you know you should be," she had went on taking a drag of her cigarette in every way seeming unconcerned with the youth's anger, "Someplace you belong and it isn't here."

"I don't belong anywhere."

Shizuru chuckled, "Everyone belongs somewhere kid, they belong to someone at least. Whoever it is that cares about you that's where you belong. Now get the hell out of here before I knock you into next week."

The youth had fled soon after. Knowing Shizuru it had been because of the look in her eyes that had chased him from the area.

She returned to sit beside him, her eyes a little distant.

"Why do you bother?" he asked.

She cast a derisive glance at him, "Same reason I do anything. He just needed a kick in the pants."

"You believe that nonsense you said to him?"

"Of course I do," she replied shifting so that she was closer to him, "I'm a firm believer that when someone cares about you that you sort of belong to them. Not crazy, psycho belonging. I mean the kind that everyone needs to feel to be happy. That way no matter what you think or what happens in your life you always belong somehow."

"You find comfort in that?"

"Yeah...and so do you."

He had been faintly entertained by the entire scene, by her surety of his reaction to her words.

It was not until he was locked in that semi conscious state a world away from her that he understood he had taken her words to heart.

More so then he could have imagined considering that as he listened to Muruko that pity he felt was fueled by knowing without a doubt he at least belonged to one person.

To make matters even more wretched, to make the reality of that damning corruption more bothersome as it dug into him he also felt a perturbing want to ease that pain in Muruko.

_I knew nothing good could come from associating with humans._


	13. Admittedly

She smiled at the young man in the mirror with real amusement.

It had been some time since she had felt so much like her old self and she appreciated that fact more then she let on.

The jade green eyes that stared back at her were much to old for the face they belonged to. Knowing what he was did nothing to change that the way she reacted to him was colored by the age she saw in his physical appearance.

At first she had been shocked by his sudden interest in having her care for his hair. Not that her hands had not itched to do just that every time she was near him. The healthy red locks were just to much of a temptation given her chosen trade. Still it had stunned her that he would allow her to do it.

For some unknown reason she kept their bimonthly appointments to herself instead of sharing the fact with Kazuma. After the second appointment she had begun to really relax.

Over time she had realized he was using her as a means of distraction. He said very little about what he was doing in the human world other then attending to a "project" that seemed very important. She did not mind being used as a distraction, she used him for the same reason though she had quickly become much more fond of him then before.

Privately she knew she looked forward to his visits for the slightest bit of connection with a certain fire demon who the red head just happened to mention occasionally.

"Really Red you're taking all the fun out of it." she commented.

"Fun?"

"Yeah," she replied running her fingers through his hair to arrange it more to her liking, "everyone else tip toes around the subject. Will she freak out if we mention him? Should we ask or shouldn't we? You can't just come out and ask like that. It ruins the whole game."

His eyes did not react though a small smile graced his lips, "I'm not one to play those types of games Shizuru. I only ask out of concern."

She sighed heavily, "Yes Kurama I'm doing just fine. And the answer to your next question is no I'm not holding my breath."

The small smile vanished as quickly as it appeared. She stopped herself from rolling her eyes.

Kurama for all his age and demonic energies could be one of the most easily affected people she knew. More so since he had returned from demon world. It was as if he were somehow reinforcing his humanity, testing the edges of it. His smile came easier then before and she knew the compassion in him was more apt to show.

Not that she was against him reacting in that way. It just seemed a strain to him since she had caught glimpses of him being conflicted by those same reactions. It was almost painful to see it, somewhat akin to watching a novice practice something while being a master at it. She wanted to help him through it as much as he would let her.

Of course Kurama was more centered on her at the moment. Those green eyes catching every nuance of what passed over her face.

Which was why she promptly stuck her tongue out at him in the mirror, eliciting a chuckle that sounded right for the age he looked.

"Stop being so serious," she admonished him, "I thought you were trying to relax."

"This is me relaxed."

"You really suck at it you know. Have I told you that?"

"Yes on several occasions now."

"You don't need to worry about me." she assured him dropping her eyes to the hair she was finger combing, "It was never like Yusuke and Keiko."

"Is that how you perceive it?" he asked gently, "I thought you were done with pretending at least with me."

"You probably shouldn't upset the person with the scissors." she suggested bringing her eyes up to meet his in the mirror again, "Even with your hair it'll take awhile to grow back."

"As if you would," he laughed at her empty threat, "Shizuru..."

"I miss him," she admitted hiding the pain it caused out of habit knowing the red head caught it with that frustrating ease of his, "other then that what are you expecting me to say? He doesn't write, he doesn't call...you know how stupid it is to expect that sort of thing from him so I don't. And don't think I'm not totally aware you bringing him up has nothing to do with him saying he wants me to know."

"Hiei can be very single minded." Kurama offered.

"Since when are you playing matchmaker Red?" she countered suddenly curious about his interest.

"It can hardly be considered matchmaking when the match already exists." he replied with a fairly good imitation of innocence.

"Uh huh...you should be careful how many projects you juggle one of them is going to hit the floor."

"I am very good at multitasking." he said shifting in the chair, "This gives me something pleasant to worry over."

"You have a weird way of looking at things."

He tilted his head an enigmatic smile crossing his face that reached his eyes, "Yes I do."

This time she did roll her eyes, letting her fingers place a few more strands before admitting to herself that she was finished with the haircut which could hardly be called one. Kurama took good care of himself and that included his hair.

A slight coldness stole over her and she was speaking before she was aware she was doing so.

"You need to be careful not to lose yourself."

The smile had fallen away again, replaced by sudden intense interest. Of all of them Kurama seemed to take her spiritual awareness the most serious. She was abruptly concerned for him. There was to much hidden in his eyes.

"I will strive to keep that in mind." he assured her.

She shook off the last of the coldness and worry, "Good then you can get yourself out of my chair so I can make some real money. You're not that good of a tipper."

Another laugh escaped him as he stood. She shook her head as she habitually went about setting her area back into readiness for her next customer. She paused as she felt his hand on her arm.

"I wouldn't give up entirely if I were you." Kurama said lightly.

"Don't make yourself my least favorite red head," she returned giving him a playful shove, "I said get out of here!"


	14. Interval

He fingered the teargem around his throat as he gazed out into the distance from the ledge of the window in Muruko's chambers.

"So why do you?"

He tilted his head to catch a glimpse of Muruko in her lounge before letting his eyes wander back to the horizon.

"Is that supposed to make sense?"

"Why do you stay? It's obvious you have other thoughts on your mind...certain people?"

She spoke to often for his taste. Her silences held to expectant a quality to them for him to feel fully comfortable in. Not for the first time he wondered why he bothered continuing in her company.

_Because **she** corrupted me and now I feel...responsible to see this through._

There was mild disgust in the thought. Each time he had thought to leave the image of Muruko's face the instant that shackle had split returned to his mind.

It had been so easy, keeping his thoughts as she expected them to be. To focus only on the hatred that he had once allowed to consume him. To allow the contempt for her seeking him out to succor her own needs to color his thoughts.

That was where she had made the first of many mistakes in that final battle between them.

In the heat of conflict she could be excused for not fully comprehending what he had done. How he had manipulated her through it all. He had only one clear goal in mind. She had expected the dragon to be the full extent of his prowess. It had not occurred to her there was a step beyond since they had spoken so heatedly of bringing their worst to bear against one another.

It had exhausted him to the point of hibernation to control the dragon in the manner he had but it had served its purpose as a distraction to free her from the shackle. Creatures as they were would not have just allowed such a thing, it must be earned in strife. He had understood that completely and so had given her what she needed to be free of that at least.

He supposed in all fairness he could not blame her entirely for her self centeredness. That said it did not mean he had any intention of fulfilling those designs of her's towards him.

After she had changed, become more introspective and calmer. He knew that did not mean she was any less in power. It also did not mean she had truly found the peace she sought after. In many ways she saw their interaction as the key to such.

Strangely enough though he had no intention of telling her he knew what it was that drew her to him. It was not what she imagined. In reality it was not even truly him she was seeking but the resulting affect of having been influenced by another.

It was something that when he thought on it caused a small thrill of annoyed fondness to run through him.

It also caused a longing to be away from Muruko and her slowly resolving internal conflicts. To be in another world with different scents and much calmer, wanted attentions.

Yet he stayed but not just for the untwisting of Muruko. He was serving his own purposes in what he was doing. His continued presence could hardly be called altruistic.

"Hiei."

His eyes narrowed in annoyance, "I don't recall ever telling you I have interest in explaining myself."

Muruko chuckled, "You're insufferable in this mood. Why don't you just go to her?"

He turned, surprised by her tone and the suggestion. She was smirking at him, arms folded as she watched him.

"The barrier no longer exists so why don't you just go?"

"You know why." he spat angry with her light treatment of the subject.

"Oh yes...the taint."

Her amusement grated on his nerves. It was not the first time he imagined ending her life just to be done with the entire situation.

"You have no idea if it works that way. What if you are simply wasting what little time the human has left to her life?"

One of the downsides of Muruko having been freed of her shackles was the fact that she had finally brought her psychic abilities to see past what she had wanted to see in his thoughts. She had truly glimpsed parts of his soul and understood to many things about him.

Before the tournament they had fallen into a familiar way of speaking to each other. That had not changed after it.

Unfortunately Shizuru had become a favored subject for her to bring up.

He resisted the words that sprang to mind only because it was a waste of his time to voice the obvious.

The main reason behind him remaining, the reason he continued with Muruko.

There were only two people that he desired to have his teargem. The damnable fox had expertly turned the easier choice into one that was not acceptable. His reasoning behind the offering less than perfect and done for the wrong purposes.

The other choice while much more desirable caused more then a little anxiety when thought about. He was loathe to put something in her care that her awareness might sense as full of hatred when that could not be farther from what the offering meant.

He remained with Muruko hoping to ease whatever taint might exist by bringing peace to the demon who had it in her possession for so long a time.

Perhaps Shizuru's abilities did not work in that sense. He did not know. She was to important to him for him to take such chances.

He would bide his time, only allowing himself to touch the teargem, and spend time with the needy demon who occupied this room until he could be certain what he had to offer no longer held that iniquity of hatred.

He twisted back to the view of Demon World. He would be damned if he explained those things to Muruko of all people.

He had his reasoning for the things he did. A purpose behind his actions that had nothing in the end to do with Muruko and everything to do with who he would rather be spending time with.

Unconsciously his hand slipped to the teargem again, his fingers pressing the hard surface gently as he allowed himself to think of that reason.


	15. Floating

Author's Note: Yes I am playing between the anime and manga.

* * *

She was trying desperately to hold it in.

After the initial shock of seeing the crudely drawn picture the air had turned decidedly thick with awkward tension. All three of them were watching her. They were holding their breath to see what her reaction might be. She understood it but that did not change the fact that she was not all that sure exactly what it was that was forcing that strain in her chest.

After a year and a half to have that thrown in her face. A child like representation of the person who was never very far from her thoughts though she strove to keep those thoughts to a minimum.

It was ridiculous. It was almost cruel. It was hilarious and hurtful all at once.

Perfect strangers were being allowed the one thing she was positive she would never have again.

She stared out the window of the train trying not to let out what bubbled inside her. Trying hard not to pay attention to the fact that they seemed more affected then her.

With an internal shake she looked back down at the crude drawing before decisively ripping it out and handing it to Kurama. He looked at her questioningly.

"He'd get a kick out of it." she said then sat back after he took the proffered paper from her, "Wow you'd think someone died. Lighten up a little you guys."

"Uh...Shizuru..." Keiko began awkwardly.

It was then she let the laughter out because it was simply to much. She was sure the three seated near her were instantly concerned with her mental well being but she had no control over it. She had no control over much of anything.

It hurt but it was just to funny to let go of.

She laughed because it would have been just as easy to cry and laughing felt much better.

* * *

"Don't even try it." she warned Yusuke pointing her fingers that held her cigarette at the soaked youth who had just run up to her with a much to mischievous look in his brown eyes, "I can still put you on your ass."

He grinned, "It's good to see you to Shizuru."

She reached out and ruffled his wet locks with her other hand, "Next time don't stay gone so long."

He smirked, "Next time? You think Keiko won't pound me if I do that again? I'm not stupid."

"Yeah you are." she laughed, "Now get away from me. I don't frolic in the waves."

"Neither do I." Kurama added as Yusuke's eyes danced over to him.

"Alright," Yusuke gave in then ran back to the others still splashing in the water.

Once he reached Keiko's side she threw herself at him causing both of them to fall into the water again. The laughter of the group playing in the tide made the smile on her face grow.

It was a wonderful thing to see. All of the lines of strain and worry had fallen away from Keiko's face the instant Yusuke had appeared. She could not have wished for a more perfect moment for either of the two. They all seemed happier, younger out there. Even Kazuma had regained some strength to his energy with Yusuke's return.

"He looks good." she commented taking a drag of her cigarette, "All this togetherness is giving me a tooth ache. I'll see you back at the shrine."

"Please try to stay well away from cliffs." Kurama suggested as she turned.

"Keep it up Red and when it's your turn I'm going to make your life hell." she promised him with a smile that bordered on sadistic.

"I simply want to avoid having to explain such a melodramatic exit." he returned.

"Why does Kurama want you to stay away from cliffs Shizuru?" Yukina asked innocently.

"I'll let him explain it since he's so smart." she said laughing at the strained look that came to Kurama's face.


	16. Freeing

Author's Note: For the purpose of this one there's only a few months difference between Yusuke's return and this scene from the manga.

* * *

"I can get you one of those flowers easily. But why do you...?"

He brought his eyes up to Kurama's, "Nothing special, really."

The pain where Muruko had struck him was relatively endurable. He had asked for it after all, pushing her as he had. It had been worth it. He had finally found the key he had been searching for. At least he believed he had, judging from the memories he was almost positive.

It was humbling to realize his own assumptions had been just as blind as Muruko's back then. He had not been the only one to hold back nor to manipulate to achieve a certain goal. In the end she had gotten out of him some of what she wanted.

Companionship, a friendship that could not have developed between the two of them in any other way.

He leaned back in the window sill for a more comfortable position, allowing his eyes to close momentarily as Kurama went about searching through his things for what he had asked for. He was still annoyed over the "lover's spat" remark.

"In three weeks I will be at the shrine if you chose to return for any reason."

He almost smiled at the fox's obvious "slip" of information.

Since Genkai's death the ones here in the human world traded off weekly duties at her shrine. The offered neutral zone for demons and humans to interact in a peaceful manner over disputes had been received in a surprisingly effective and often used manner.

When it was the humans that tended to the shrine Puu was there on the off chance there was an extra presence needed. Tending to the spirit beast was also a part of the constant rotation at the shrine.

As far as he was aware Shizuru was the only human that tended to her week long stay at the shrine on her own. Keiko was in the ever present company of Yusuke and Kuwabara did not need such backing

Shizuru's time at the shrine preceded Kurama's. He had known that since the first time the fox had informed him on the agreed schedule.

_Soon enough..._

* * *

It shocked him momentarily.

That look of true sadistic delight and peace on her face as she gazed at the "present" he had brought her.

As did the sense of something shifting away from inside of him.

"Happy Birthday." he said turning to walk out.

"You're leaving."

Not a question but more of a statement. He paused, shifting to look back at her to find her smiling at him.

"I've wasted enough of my time with delusion. I no longer am interested in being here." he replied.

It was worth it he supposed. The time and effort put into what he had done. That sense that he had accomplished, finally, his end goal in remaining with Muruko. He was still mystified as to why it had become so imperative to him to bring about this moment for her.

He did know he was ill suited for this type of thing. What Shizuru did on instinct he could barely stand. He was certain she could have affected much the same response without so much time taken. It did give him a new found appreciation for the being she was to be able to tend so easily to the needs of others. He was certain he never would bother with it ever again.

"How do you know she hasn't forgotten you?"

A smirk twisted his lips, "I am no longer interested in your manipulations either."

Muruko inclined her head slightly in acknowledgment of the censure. Her gaze wandered back to her present after a short time. There was nothing left to be said between the two of them. He had to admit he had grown to respect her over time and even to appreciate her brand of company. That did not change that he preferred other company.

He had spent enough time without _**her**_.


	17. So That's How

She was indulging. She knew that and quite frankly did not care in the least.

It had been awhile since she had let it really touch her. Out here away from everyone and everything with only the giant blue chicken for company she could do it. She could have her pity party whose only attendants were herself and the ocean.

She stared glumly at the black and gold lighter as she twisted it in her hand. It was worn a little now from habitual touch. It had become in essence a worry stone of sorts. If she started having negative thoughts she found herself doing just as she was now. Said negative thoughts being of certain people or frankly a certain fire demon she could not seem to escape the memory of.

As much as she rejected the idea of looking back she was not immune to the process. She was not so much stuck in the past as stuck with a particular longing. She was sure it was because they had never truly said the words. Their farewell had been without them. There had been no promises of a future. No expectations of one either.

At least that was what she had told herself all this time, reminded herself of when the others questioned her about the subject.

Maybe if Kurama had not spent so much time encouraging her to not completely let go.

Maybe if she had actually allowed herself to get use to the idea of being alone again.

Maybe if she did not still hold onto the feeling of their last kiss, the tenderness of it or what she had seen in his eyes back then.

Maybe then she could truly let go of all of it, be free of what it was she wanted to have back.

Was it really that wrong of her to have wanted it? To have wanted to be the place where someone settled instead of being the spring board for someone to move forward?

Sometimes it seemed that was her lot in life. For the most part she had no problem with it. She enjoyed helping people with the things she was shown. She liked the sense of being depended on for giving the right direction. She reveled in the small victories of seeing things go well for others, knowing in some small way she had played her own part.

She even wanted to witness those happy endings. She was a true sucker for such things.

Still she could not seem to help the small slip of jealousy she felt at times when around Yusuke and Keiko or even her kid brother and Yukina for that matter. It was petty and it made her feel like a lousy person. It was not that she wanted them to be unhappy. She just wanted to be happy like that as well.

Puu made a trilling sound beside her, bumping her with his big head. She pushed him away with a tch sound, looking out into the distance.

_I guess there's no real reason to hold on. I hope he's happy where ever he is._

Abruptly she clenched her hand around the lighter, anger flaring through her at herself. This whole time she had been acting so against the way she normally would have. She may be a sucker for a lost cause but that did not normally apply to herself. She did not usually hold onto anything for this long.

_Screw this...and them!_

She swung her arm back and pitched the lighter as far out over the cliff as she could. With an excited trill Puu bound after it.

"I don't want it back!" she yelled at the spirit beast as it launched itself over the edge, "Stupid blue chicken..."

She could only laugh at the absurdity. The lighter was irretrievable at the bottom of the cliffs that went straight down into the ocean. The worst that could happen was that Puu would get a thorough washing.

Which saved her from having to encourage the spirit beast later in the week into taking a bath. Puu was funny that way, willing to get wet as long as it was for fun and not for washing.

"If nothing else it was worth it to see you finally rid yourself of that cursed thing."

She did not gasp. The ability to breathe suddenly left her entirely. She actually had to convince her body to listen to her, to turn towards the voice. It took everything she had, torn between hope that it was his voice and conviction she was caught up in some sort of strange wishful thinking.

For a heartbeat she stared blankly at him, unable to process what she was seeing was real. Then something happened that she had never thought was really possible for anyone other then Keiko. Something she had lovingly but laughingly dubbed as "pulling a Keiko."

She had even asked the girl how she accomplished it and chuckled after the description.

Her legs suddenly did not want to hold her and abruptly she found herself sitting on the ground, propping herself up by her arms.

"Shizuru!"

_Oh...so that's how that happens..._

Then there was a real hand guiding her face upward to look into a pair of slightly annoyed crimson eyes.

"Is this how you plan on always reacting to me not dieing?" he demanded angrily.


	18. Give and Take

"No"

"Come on."

"No."

"Hey I threw the only one I had away."

"Rub two sticks together. Isn't that how your species created it?"

"It's not like its hard for you."

"It's a waste of time."

"You won't think so when I start getting pissy."

"And that's different then now?"

Shizuru sighed heavily, "Okay but its your funereal."

He smirked, pulling her closer as she leaned back against his chest. They had returned to the shrine and were sitting on one of the sets of steps. He watched her finger the teargem at her throat.

It had been straining when he had first put it in her hands. Watching and waiting to see what her reaction would be. For the briefest moment a frown had appeared on her face as she gazed down at it, playing havoc with his thoughts before it had smoothed away.

The way she had looked up at him told him he did not have to bother explaining what was meant by his having gifted her with it. She understood as only she could his intentions without him having to say a word even after the time and distance they had spent apart.

He had to admit because of Muruko's last words he had considered that she no longer felt the same towards him as she had that last day on the bluff. He should not have worried. Shizuru's sense of loyalty rivaled the strongest of convictions.

Wind kicked up as Yusuke's spirit beast arrived in the main courtyard, tossing its head towards them with it's irritating trill. There came the small sound of something hitting the ground and Shizuru tensed.

"It's like a bad penny..." she muttered.

He frowned following her line of sight only to find himself stiffening with anger.

The damn beast had managed somehow to retrieve the black and gold lighter. It lay on the ground only a few feet away, glinting maliciously with the light of the afternoon sun.

From one second to the next he moved, picking the accursed object up.

It took only a matter of moments for the mortal flame to burn hot enough to begin destroying it, fueled by his own rage. She had already tossed the thing aside so he had no qualms of assuring its destruction. It was nothing to contain the small explosion that came from the flames reaching the internal chamber.

He was stunned when Shizuru leaned in close to the flame and lit one of her cigarettes from it. With annoyance he let the flames die out and brushed the remains from his palm, glaring at her.

Her lips twisted as she shrugged, "You expected me to pass that up?"

Before he could respond she caught his chin in her free hand and place a soft, wet kiss on his lips. The annoyance faded under the wave of heat that swept through him.

He could forgive her the undignified use of his flame...this once.

* * *

Author's Note: I couldn't resist this last one :D.

Now this is the end! That's it! No more!

Please be nice and _**Review**_ cause its been an evil little story brought on by muses with the name "dream" in their screen names.

(watch out for 'em they are sneaky!)


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